After 10 years of experience in the world of therapy and counseling, one thing stands out to me as the primary problem in human lives today. This issue is what tends to be the root of all self-sabotage, and the perpetuated product of abuse in all its forms, which is then passed along to others generously, to keep everyone down at the same level, rather than lifting each other up to achieve even greater things than we could do on our own. Have you guessed the culprit yet? It’s this word that probably leaves a bitter taste in many-a-mouth. This all-pervading affliction is none other than…….Judgment!

And as with everything, it starts within, as most of us humans relentlessly inflict this judgment onto ourselves, through our mind. Sometimes it may be glaringly obvious, and sometimes so subtle we may not even recognize it. For many of us, it has become so commonplace that we don’t even recognize this voice inside of our heads, judging everything we do, telling us that we’re not ambitious enough, smart enough, funny enough, pretty enough, rich enough, educated enough, skinny enough, talented enough, flexible enough, hard core enough…..the list goes on infinitely…..This “Inner Critic” can actually go completely unnoticed much of the time, as we’ve sadly grown accustomed to this internal barrage. This Inner Critic is brought to us by our own mind, and is a cultivation of a lifetime of experiences ~ outdated self defense mechanisms that are no longer relevant ~ long overdue for an update in order to actually be helpful. Once upon a time, this voice was manifested in order to protect, but now needs a serious revamp in order to get up with the times of what is actually helpful in current life.

I have done A LOT of work with my Inner Critic, and although I’ve come a super long way, sometimes I’ll catch this voice popping up again: Questioning me on what I’m actually doing with my life, and why I don’t have more to show for these 35 years on earth, and how am I actually helping people, and what is even the point of this blog, etc. Do you see the subtle messaging here? You’re not successful enough, you’re not helpful enough, you’re not worthy of being seen. Ouch! And this coming from my own mind?! This voice feels heavy, sucks my energy, and results in me laying around and feeling sorry for myself if I let myself get sucked in.

AND….THERE’S ALSO ANOTHER VOICE. This voice reminds me of how far I’ve come, of how many people I’ve been able to help, how I’m extremely loved and supported, how I am worthy of writing, publishing, being heard, and being seen. How I am here for a reason. This voice reminds me how worthy I am of love. I can access this “Inner Best Friend” voice when I take a loooooong, deep breath. When I take time to move in my body, close my eyes, and listen. I access this voice when I write. This one feels much lighter, as if I could fly. Because, I can actually accomplish MUCH more than I could previously imagine, when I choose to build myself up rather than cut myself down.

This awareness was the inspiration for the song written by my partner and me “Within You Is A Light” (You can learn more about the origins of this song here and here.

This song offers some very down to earth and practical advice. For example: “Love Who You Are.” I’d like you to pause for a second and ponder what that would look like? Take a look at the last 24 hours of your life. What happened that exemplified true self love? How did you show yourself love, whether through actions (ie deep breathing, getting artsy, meditating, exercise, eating healthy, learning, resting, relaxing, laughing, holiday-ing, playing, massage, etc.) or positive thoughts (ie visualizing goals, positive affirmations, inner peptalks, etc) or positive connection with others? (ie true friends, mentors, animals, time in nature, family that believes in you, etc)

Was there anything in the last 24 hours that was more along the lines of self sabotage if you’re being completely honest with yourself? (ie Not going for what you know you want and deserve, Not speaking up, Allowing someone to take advantage of you, participating in activities you know don’t build you up, Procrastinating the things you know you need or crave, etc.)

Or perhaps you noticed a lopsidedness in priorities within time spent ie spending more time on the unimportant things according to your values, distracting from what is truly important?

This is just to give you an idea of how much you are truly living love from the inside out. Absolutely none of us are perfect, and please don’t fall into the trap of judging yourself over this stuff! This is simply an invitation to witness and take stock of the direction things are currently going, and rearrange a few things in order to reflect what is truly important, if that seems appropriate. For most of us, we can always create more time to nourish ourselves ~ so this contented loving kind patience can exude out of us, in turn nourishing others and showing them some light and grace.

Another simple reminder from the song is: “Love Who You Love.” Sounds obvious right? But, how do we actually put it into practice? With divorce rates higher than ever, and on the rise, I think it’s an important question to consider. In the last 24 hours, how did you make clear your genuine love for those you love? It’s easy to say I love you. To others and ourselves. But how do we show it and prove it and truly care…showing acts of loving kindness, to both others, and within our own lives.

As this anthem exclaims: “Inside Your Own Heart Lies Your Own Love for You; You Are Your Own Love.”

What are you hoping to receive from someone else? Whether a romantic partner, or anyone else who is close in your life? It is so important to have community, and we all need each other! It’s also SO empowering to be able to offer yourself the type of love you need when you find it’s not coming in so easily from the outside. What are some things you can do to pamper yourself and make life more enjoyable for yourself in the next 24 hours? I know for me, I’m about to hit up a yoga festival for the weekend, and participate in a MUD Meditation which I’m super excited for. So who knows, maybe you’ll find inspiration in this and cover yourself in mud this weekend! I think there are WAY worse ideas out there 🙂 Only you know what’s right for you, so listen to yourself for the Love of God!

This song unlocked love for me and I hope it will for you too. May it be your weekend anthem while you are pampering yourself into some delicious blissed out high on life action!

Let me know if you’d like to consult with me on how to work deeper with this Inner Critic. It actually doesn’t take much time at all and is extremely powerful!

Next Week on GypsySoulTonic: An Original Meditation for all of us to dive a bit deeper into this delicious self love bath <3 Don’t forget to subscribe so you won’t miss out!

Peace and Self Love from Bali!!!

XO Gypsy Soul

Book Recs on this topic:

Judgment Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein

Power of Now: Eckart Tolle

You Can Heal Your Life: Louise Hay

“I thank my higher self, the voice of love and wisdom within me. Thank you for granting me the willingness to open this blog and begin this journey. I am willing to be free. I am willing to be happy. I am willing to witness my judgment without judgment.” ~ Judgment Detox by Gabrielle Bernstein

Feature photo by mark l chaves.